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Rispondi Citandoecco l'articolo, risalente al 10 ottobre circa.
A Statement from Neal Morse
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Dear fans and friends of Spock's Beard,
By now you know that I'm leaving and I'd like to explain why as best I can...so here goes.
First of all, I 'm not leaving because of a lack in anything in the band or the audience. Actually, you'll never know how hard this was for me to give up, largely because of how wonderful you all are. Al, Nick, Ryo and Dave are incredible, not just as the amazing musicians you know, but as the sweet, always cool and hilariously funny people that they are. I'll always think of them as 'my guys'. And I'm always touched by the kindness and consideration of our fans; never pushing and always showing care for us as people. You have supported us and given us the platform by which we could dive into the water of our musical dreams. Corny, but true.
Let me preface this by saying that, as many of you know, I've become a Christian in recent years, and it's changed me (duh!). Through my relationship with Jesus Christ, I feel I'm growing closer to God, and that's become the most important thing in my life. Having His holy spirit living in me is unbelievable!! (literally to some of you J ), and I don't want to do anything that would cause it to leave or lessen. There's something they talk about in the Bible called 'grieving the holy spirit' and I believe that if I did that (by not doing what God's asking me to do), it would wind up being bad for everyone.
I don't want to be too dramatic here, but I do want to be truthful with you all. This is something I've been thinking and praying and grieving about for almost a year. It started around last December. I was running in the morning (I pray while I run) and I felt the Lord compelling me to turn around and go a different way. I didn't want to. I was used to my routine and I liked it. But I kept feeling Him tugging on me. Why? I don't know. After I considered it for a while I turned around and went the other way. Once I did that I felt the Lord's pleasure. I know this may sound bizarre, but I felt like a host of angels were cheering! Then the Lord said "here's what I want you to do, finish this album (SNOW), QUIT THE BAND and await further instructions." So, I let that sit for a while. I pleaded with God. I ignored Him for awhile. But, every time I prayed about it for the next 6 months or so, I felt the same thing. Many times what I got back was a simple "you know.....you know what to do"(This was all during the making of SNOW. What a bizarre time!). I got very angry about that at certain times. I said "Lord, if you want me to wreck a bunch of people's dreams, remember this isn't just MY dream, it's the band's as well....and all the family's involved... I mean, Spock's isn't LIKE family, it IS family!......and how will I take care of MY family ....and the band is just SO GOOD...if you want me to give that up you're going to have to give me something more than 'you know'. " I really came face to face with how huge of a thing Spock's Beard (and everything that goes along with it) is to me. I thought I had put it on the altar (given it to God) years before, but, at the prospect of REALLY giving it up, I could barely breathe. It's still hard.
But, anyway, I fasted and prayed about it and it never changed. So, last June, after SNOW was finally done, I scheduled a time to go out to L.A. and record some acoustic bonus tracks, and tell the guys. Check out what happened: first of all, it was a miracle that with only a weeks notice we could all actually show up in the same city together! And we couldn't record at Kevin's like we usually do (it was booked, which is pretty unusual), so we went to a friend of Nick's studio in Hollywood. That morning I was praying saying "Lord, where am I going to tell them? How is this going to work?" You see, at Kevin's it was all one room. There was no way the five of us could be alone. Was I going to have to tell them in a restaurant? That hardly seems appropriate. But, this new place had a private lounge in a separate building. When I saw it I felt a lump in my throat and sensed the hand of God at work. But, there was work to be done and we put our best foot forward and recorded those acoustic tracks for the bonus disc. During the sessions I was going to the bathroom to pray to see if I felt anything changing. Then, I called a meeting at the end of the sessions. As I climbed the stairs I felt like Abraham climbing the mountain to kill his son, hoping God would send an angel to stop me at the last minute. He didn't, and I told the guys.
I guess it went about as well as could be expected. There was some anger and some tears and some jokes. I was surprised at how well it went really, if that word can be used about something so awful. We talked for about 2 hours and it was a roller coaster of emotions. I'll leave their feelings and reactions for them to tell you about. It's been different for everybody involved.
We all decided not to tell the record companies for a little while. Then, we told them in August. Both Thomas Waber and Brian Slagel were surprisingly cool about it. They both pretty much said, "Well, that's a major drag, but we support you guys no matter what you do." The majority of everyone involved thought it best to delay the announcement until a little while after the release date, so as to not 'kill' the record. And, also, I think we were all hoping (including part of me) that I might change my mind. This is a very difficult announcement to make and it's been hard for us to actually do it. I hope you can understand that.
The next few months were really hard. Doing endless interviews trying to complete the SNOW project in as positive a way as possible. Everyone asking "What's next" and "When are you going on tour" all day long! It was horrible. I'd just say something like "Oh, we're still sorting it out. Scheduling conflicts and such." I'm sorry for any misleading that I have done. Sometimes when people asked me about touring I said "there'll be a tour next year" , because I know the guys are going to go out next year without me. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I did say that. I didn't know what else to say. One really awkward moment was when a guy from Rolling Stone Europe said to me "Hmmm....you becoming a Christian reminds me of the Kerry Livgren and Kansas thing. You aren't going to leave the band are you?" What could I say?!!!! I sat there with my mouth open and went "uh...uh..uh....I sure hope not."
Then Metal Blade called and asked if I'd do some west coast promo and I said OK. I didn't realize that they meant acoustic 'performances' and such. Not that I mind, it was just a bit awkward. Hats off to the guys for making it as pleasant as possible. But it was strange having a big secret from the audience. It was hard to really be there, if you know what I mean. Although, I think by that time a lot of people knew.
People are probably going to try and make sense out of this, but my advice would be not to try, because it doesn't make any 'normal' sense. Whether or not you think it's true, (and I know that's a tall order for everyone) I believe that God's asked me to do this, and it's not because there's anything 'bad' about Spock's. I just think He wants me to do something else now.
One thing I would like people to know is that this is a decision I've made on my own and a lot of people have tried to talk me out of it, Christian and non-Christian alike. I don't want anybody blaming anybody. This was between me and God, solely.
Another thing I thought I should address is why I'm not doing a last tour. I dealt with that one for a long time. I big part of me really wanted to do it, you know, go out with a bang so to speak, but, every time I thought about it, I felt this 'You'd better not...' inside. That's the best explanation I've got. I just feel like it wouldn't be a good thing.
Now, the band is going on, and it's a difficult time for us all, and we really need your continued kindness, enthusiasm and support. Please send them all plenty of positive thoughts, prayers and emails (whichever you prefer!). The Mighty Beard shall grow on!
A lot of people are wondering what I'll be doing. I'm exploring right now, and I'm not sure. You'll be the first to know!! Of that you can be sure. My wife and I will continue to run Radiant Records and Latter Rain Records, (the Spock's site will be the band's of course) and I'm going to take some time and see what's next.
A lot of people will be asking about Transatlantic as well, and, obviously, I'm quitting that too. That, also, has been an amazing experience and a tremendous honor and I wish Mike, Pete and Roine all the best.
I guess there isn't much more to say except thank you. Thanks to you all for your support, for listening, and for 'getting it'. Spock's has been such a fulfilling experience for me, and that has so much to do with you. Without you we probably would have made a few records and quit, but, with you all, we got to grow and really do it. I remember the last time we played the London Astoria, the show was so powerful, a few of us were moved to tears. We came off stage and all we could say was "wow, that was full on!" and I said "Man, it was just so huge!" What moments you gave us. Thank you.
I guess that's it. Until we meet again,
Neal Morse
Ps -- 'and my soul has been kissed -- just because you exist'
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